Thursday, September 06, 2007
I remember the first time I felt life inside of me. What a unique feeling!
I remember thinking of all the women at church who mocked me for wanting to be a mother. I remember coming to a low place in my life when I accepted that I might never have children and never get married. The thought of that made me not want to go on.
But how God steps in when everyone else says it will never happen!
I remember the fear that gripped me when the doctor said they were going to take Melody out at 7 months. I didn't get to deliver naturally, which is what I always wanted. I also didn't get to breast feed, which is another thing I aways wanted to do. But I was so happy that she and I were both alive.
I remember going into surgery and asking God to keep his Holy Spirit on Melody. I remember lying on the operating table as they were putting me back together. The nurses were weighing Melody. One of them said, "Look how cute she is. Look at how peaceful she looks." When I heard that, I knew God had kept his Holy Spirit on her. I cried. I thanked God.
As she progressed well in the NICU, I ended up in the ICU. I remember death coming at me. The nurses said I was halicinating but I wasn't. I knew exactly what I was doing. I was yelling out the name of Jesus and speaking in tongues. I had too much will to live. I had a new husband and a new baby and I wasn't about to let the enemy take my life. The devil is a liar.
Once Melody and I got home, she had to be on oxygen and zantax (sp?). Her first year in Colorado was a cold one. She was sick almost once a month. It was a rough year. But God protected her.
I remember the first time she smiled. The first time she crawled. The first time she walked. Her first word, "Da-Da"
Women do all the work. Men get all the glory!!!
I love to watch Melody dance. I love to watch her sing and play piano. She loves to learn. She loves learning her numbers and letters. She loves to read the Bible with Mommy and to worhsip God. She is a beautiful girl on the outside. I am still working with her on how to be beautiful on the inside. I love Melody's hugs. I love Melody's "Kisses on the cheeks."
Sometimes when Melody and I are alone she says to me, "Mommy, tell me the doctor story." And I tell her how she was born... How God kept his hand on her. I tell her how Mommy and Daddy didn't ever think they would have children. How blessed we are to have her.
Whatever you desire today, don't let anyone tell you it won't happen.
Maybe you want a baby.
Maybe you have another dream.
Whatever it is, God is no respector of persons.
Don't let embittered people bring you down.
I almost did. But God stepped in.
Whatever dreams you have, God will bring them to pass. You may not have yours as soon as someone else but, in the long run, you'll be better off. Good things come to those who wait. Blessings come to those who may suffer for a season but are blessed for a lifetime.
Don't settle! Wait for what God has for you. It is worth the wait.
Mommy loves you, Melody Hannah!!!
Posted by Lori Carhart at Thursday, September 06, 2007