Thursday, September 20, 2007

Fall Season: My Returning Favorites

Naturally, there are some shows that I watch coming back this season. And I must say I'm looking forward to picking up where they left off and seeing where they're going to take me this year.


Heroes : Returns Sept. 24, 9 pm, NBC
The coolest new show last year comes back to reveal who all died and who didn't and then to go on from there. Whoo hoo!


Smallville : Returns Sept. 27, 8 pm, CW
If you've given up on Smallville at some point, you should come back. Lex is getting darker, Lana seems to have died, Chloe seems to have died, Lois is a regular and this season. Rumor has it, we get Supergirl and Clark learns to fly.

Without A Trace : Returns Sept. 27, 10 pm, CBS
Perhaps the only procedural that's worth my time, Without A Trace seems to always be able to keep itself fresh, despite the innate formula of the program (person goes missing, team must find them by delving into the missing person's private life). Sometimes these stories are very dark and they affect me far differently than they did before Lori and I had Melody. And yet, we continue to watch. Last season's finale landed on a different night than usual, which caused me to miss it but it's airing again tonight (one week before the premiere) so I'll be all caught up and ready to go next week.

Supernatural : Returns Oct. 4, 9 pm, CW
Speaking of darkness... Supernatural gets one thing right that few others do. We do live in a world where supernatural beings exist. Despite the fictional mythollogy, it's kinda cool to see someone struggling with that instead of the usual teen angst on the CW. Welcome back Sam and Dean.

This year, there doesn't seem to be as many shows returning that I watch. Perhaps that's because two other returning favorites aren't coming back until later. Battlestar Galactica returns with a two hour movie entitled "Razor" in November before finally delivering new episodes in January of 2008. And Lost won't be back until January 2008 either.

- Paul

Fall Season: Brand New Shows

Unless I want to permanently attach my bottom to a cushion of the couch, there is no way I can watch every new show premiering this season. I can't even watch every new genre-related show this season. NBC, capitalizing on the success of their hit, Heroes, has really upped the ante this season. Besides, there are returning favorites I want to keep up with too. So I need to seriously limit what I'm going to add to my must-watch list. Here's what's on the early version of the list.


Chuck: Premieres Sept. 24, 8 pm, NBC
Perched right before the Heroes juggernaut is Chuck. The idea, as I hear it, is that there's a geek and somehow a national security database is downloaded into his head. If the geek were a stud, it would sound like Fox's defunct John Doe. But the premise has promise so I'll give it a go. For now.

Journeyman : Premieres Sept. 24, 10 pm, NBC
Coming in right after Heroes, and making Monday night sort of sci-fi night on NBC, is Journeyman. Which, the way I hear it, is sorts like Quantum Leap except the guy isn't a scientist and doesn't know why he's moving through time. Again, the idea is right up my alley so I'm gonna give it a shot.


Bionic Woman : Premieres Sept. 26, 9 pm, NBC
From one of the guys who re-made Battlestar Galactica, comes another re-make of a 70s sci-fi icon: The Bionic Woman. No Six Million Dollar Man this time (perhaps because it would cost way more than six million dollars these days to do this kind of work). The premise is somewhat the same, although she gets a bionic eye AND a bionic ear (the original had a bionic ear, while Steve Austin had the bionic eye). I'm a child of the 70s and 80s, The Six Million Dollar Man was my favorite show in grade school and I really like the new Battlestar. So I'll check it out.

Pushing Daisies : Premieres Oct. 3, 8 pm, ABC
Probably the most anticipated show of the new season, Pushing Daisies is getting the kind of buzz Lost (one of my favorites, but not returning until January) got before its premiere. The idea is that there's this guy who can bring things (people, plants, etc.) back to life by touching them. The downside is that if he touches them again, said thing dies again for good. The twist is that he brings back his sweetheart... and thus, cannot touch her. At least, that's how I hear it. Lots of possibilities here. The show's success will largely lie with the tone of the show and the likability of the characters. But it's getting a lot of good buzz so I have high hopes for it.

Sorry, every other show. I just don't have time for you. I can only take on so many new shows. I've got returning favorites too (which I'll get to in another post), so I'll probably have to eliminate a couple of these based on the first or second episode.

- Paul

Summer TV Roundup

The new network seasons are about to start and the short summer season is wrapping up. Let's take a moment to see how we did this summer.

First of all, USA Network seems to have perfected the summer series. Only one of the shows I've been watching this summer is from another cable channel (Eureka is on the SciFi channel) and both channels are actually owned by NBC/Universal, which just goes to show that someone over there has figured out a plan that works.

Not since MASH have I seen a show that is simultaneously funny and sad. Until I watched Monk. Tony Shaloub's defective detective is as nuanced as any character can be and this season was on an even keel with the previous episodes. For awhile, it seemed as if they had dropped the Trudy (Monk's deceased wife) storyline but they picked it up with flying colors for the finale. For a show full of laughs, once again both Lori and I were crying at the end of the season finale. Bravo, Monk! Looking forward to new episodes in January.

If Psych wasn't designed specifically to be paired with Monk, some USA network executive is the matchmaker to TV shows. The show centers on slacker Shawn Spencer who has a talent for detective work a la Sherlock Holmes. But because he's looking for the easy (and perhaps fun) way through life, he leads the police to believe he's a psychic since the clues to solving the crimes seem to always be over their head. Shawn is accompanied by his childhood friend, Gus, who plays the straight man to Shawn's antics and the dynamic between the two of them keep things going even in shallowest of mysteries. Psych is zanier, and not nearly the heartstring-puller that Monk often is. But its goofy antics, obscure 80's humor and likeable characters keep Lori and me coming back for more. The season finale hinted at a possible future romance between Shawn and Juliet (aka Jules) to whet our appetite for the new episodes expected in January. We're looking forward to them.

The Dead Zone
Perhaps the first of the USA summer series, The Dead Zone started out strong and only got better. Until this season. What happened? Most of the characters from the show are gone. Walt was killed off in the first episode! Bruce left town only to be visited once this episode. The kid who played J.J. has been replaced with another actor and nobody noticed (shades of Darren on Bewitched). Purdy disappeared (I guess he'll re-appear in the season finale). Stillson is no longer the guy who's going to destroy the world. I know they changed filming locations but if you're going to do that, at least take the cast of the show with you! That said, the stories this season haven't been that bad. There's been this thread weaving through them concerning what Walt was investigating when he was killed which brings Chris Bruno back an episode here or there to be present in Johnny's visions. But it's not the same. And what's up with Sarah? She wanted to be with Johnny all this time and now that her husband is gone and suitable time has passed for her to move on, she's going to go with Stillson (who she knows, according to Johnny, is going to destroy the world... or maybe he's not anymore)? I have yet to watch the season (series?) finale, but it just seems silly that she's going to move out because Johnny kept one thing from her. He's come clean. He was keeping it from her so as to not hurt her. And she can't forgive him, after how many times he's saved all of their lives and despite their relationship for years before he went into a coma? She needs to grow up. Her son needs a dad (Johnny's really his dad anyway, which isn't a show secret anymore either). It just all seems dumb. I'm hoping the finale resolves everything satisfactorily because I have a feeling The Dead Zone might actually be dead after this season. Here's hoping they have one more season though to at least make sense of this one.

The 4400
Here's another show that started out promising. In this case, it was a miniseries about 4400 people over the years who were abducted and then brought back all at once, none of them aging a day. As the series went on, we learned that it was not aliens, but humans from the future, who had abducted these people and their motives are still a mystery. And I mean, still. Four seasons later. The returnees, also known as The 4400, each have a special ability and the world becomes a different place. Last season, things shifted even more as a shot was developed that could give a person a 4400 ability... or kill them. 50/50 chance. This changed the stakes some and gave this season all sorts of directions to go. However, a lot of this season seems to have been business as usual. I have yet to see the last two episodes and it does seem that things are starting to move faster with Tom being one of The Marked (essentially possessed by a future human to advance their agenda in the present) but, like The Dead Zone, I have to wonder if this show will ever rise again to what it once was. Something about all of it reminds me of The X-Files... another show that was great until it sank under the weight of its own mythology. Still, I hope it gets picked up for another season. I'd like to see The 4400 redeemed before it disappears into television obscurity.

The SciFi Channel's only entry on my list is actually pretty good and it seems to be getting better in its second season. The idea is that there is this secret town in the midwest where all of the country's greatest scientists live and work on new technology. Admitedly, this leaves open all sorts of opportunities to have a technology-runs-amuck-story-of-the-week situation. Which happens. But its the twists on the formula and the quirky characters that make this show work. There are still a few more episodes left in the season (it actually overlaps a little with the new fall season) so I'm not sure how it'll wrap up but I'm looking forward to finding out.

Burn Notice
Every once in awhile you see a commercial for a show that looks like it might be fun. Indeed, Lori spotted the commercial for Burn Notice first and told me, "Hey, I saw a commercial for a show you would like today." And boy was she right. Michael Weston was a spy (presumably) for the U.S. government until he was uncerimoniously "burned" or cut off from the spy community. He was left with nothing but the clothes on his back, no money, credit, job experience he can talk about, etc. in Miami which, perhaps coincidentally, is his home town. So at least he can cry on his mom's shoulder, right? Not exactly. His mom is bitter that he's been gone for the past ten years, his brother is a slacker, the only guy who will talk to him from his spy days is keeping tabs on him for the CIA and he's blessed or cursed (you decide) by the constant companionship of a trigger-happy ex-IRA operative girlfriend who clearly wants more from him than he's able to give. The result is a strange cocktail of Magnum PI, Alias and maybe the first couple season of MacGyver. Already picked up for a second season, Burn Notice is fun, smart and fast-paced and it's worth a a few summer nights.

And things are about to get much busier. I'll be back soon to look ahead at what I'm looking forward to this Fall season, both new and returning.

- Paul

A Second Look: The Count of Monte Cristo

Before Captain Jack Sparrow raided the Spanish Main (but not before The Pirates raided the Carribbean in Anaheim... unless you count the Dumas novel), The Count of Monte Cristo took his cinematic revenge on those who wronged him. And his faith in God took a perilous journey into darkness. In the end, he learns a powerful lesson and the audience is all-the-wiser for it.

The 2002 version of "The Count of Monte Cristo" is one of my favorite period films. James Caviezel (Jesus, "The Passion of the Christ") does a great job of playing both the innocent sailor, Edmond Dantes, and the more jaded title character. The film also boasts Guy Pearce in a sleazy role and Richard Harris in one of his final performances. Indeed, for the acting alone, the film is a delight to watch time and again. But there's more to it than mere acting... It's a love story, an action story, a story of revenge. Indeed, everything The Princess Bride professes to be in fun, The Count is in cinematic reality.

I know I haven't said alot about plot, but I don't want to give anything away. If you haven't seen it, rent (or dare I say, buy) it. And if you have seen it, I'm sure you agree that it's time to watch it once again. This is one of those films that might have slipped under the radar but, in my opinion, is one that belongs in everyone's film collection.

It's only $10 over at Amazon. You're not doing anything more important this weekend anyway. So pick it up and enjoy yourself.

Now if I can just pick up a Monte Cristo sandwich at Disneyland next week...

- Paul

Monday, September 17, 2007

Sticks and Stones

The other day I heard a nearby teenager (who obviously didn't know what he was talking about) refer to my husband as a Pussy.

Later, I was telling Paul about it and without blinking an eye he said, "Well, we are what we eat."

I love my husband.

Reflections on Denominations / Launch Pad

My Mom and I were talking the other day and she told me a story that I had never heard before. Back when Paul, Melody, and I were in Colorado, my Mom attended my niece's baby dedication. It was at the church where I was blacklisted from the choir and the Sunday school class (which is another story, trust me). My Mom said that she was there during the worship time when people started popping up saying different things. She said that a woman in the middle of the choir (the woman who kicked me out of her Sunday school class and was instrumental in removing me from the choir) started saying a prophetic word. But my Mom said it was not prophetic. It was in the flesh. This woman said something along the lines of, "Lord, people's anger may last, but yours only lasts for a while." My Mom said this woman was not in the spirit, but in her flesh. This woman knew my Mom was mad about what this woman had done to me. This woman also had kicked me in the shins and threw a chair during Sunday school. So she had issues with anger as much as anyone.

There are many things about this news that are funny to me. First, instead of making things right by me according to the word of God, (Restore a brother and sister in love lest ye fall), she chose not to. Then, when she saw that my mother was angry about it, she used the house of God to pretend to condemn my mother. But it wasn't God or the Holy Spirit condemning my mother. It was this woman's flesh. The second thing that makes this humorous is that my mother is older and wiser than this younger woman. And my Mom knew exactly what this woman was doing.

I am amazed how people think they, in their flesh, can try to condemn people like God would. In a sense, they are making themselves God, which is precisely what Lucifer did prior to his fall from heaven.

The other funny thing about this story is this: The whole reason why I got blacklisted from the choir and Sunday school class was because I allowed myself to get angry and got in my flesh during a service. This is exactly what this woman did herself. My Dad told the pastor, "You are using selective grace." The pastor said, "I don't see it that way."

This same pastor sent my mother flowers and a sympathy card when my Dad died. This pastor was also responsible for my Dad not teaching Sunday school, probably the one thing for sure that God had called my Dad to do. But the pastor didn't want my Dad teaching Sunday school because my dad was better looking than him, thinner, smarter, better educated, more articulate and perhaps most importantly, my Dad wasn't a "yes" man.

This pastor's flowers and card were the first I threw in the trash after my father's funeral.

It was a joke.

Do people really think people are that stupid? You treat someone and their daughter like crap and then, once they are dead, you send a card and flowers.

A day late and a dollar short.

It is how you treat people when they are alive that counts, not what you do when they are dead.

Getting back to this alleged prophetic word: Let me speak some wisdom on this subject, since so many people don't know what they are doing. First, the prophetic word comes from the spirit of God. It can at times be condemning, but it is mostly to edify the body of Christ. A pure vessel (human) has to be right with God and be open to His word. They also have to be sensitive and hear what the spirit of the Lord wants to say to His people. It is your voice, but it is the words of God or the Holy Spirit, not words you want to say to condemn people.

The false prophet in the choir came from a CEA background. I was raised Assembly of God and, although they still look good on paper, sad to say they have gone the way of the mostly dead mainstream church. I will never attend an Assembly of God church again. I am fourth generation, but I like what T.D. Jakes says, "Are you traditional or transitional?" When you grew up experiencing the presence of God in a denomination and then that denomination opts to exhalt money, numbers, and popularity over God's presence, it is time to get out. This church had three suicides within the congregation. This shouldn't be a surprise. When you don't allow God's presence in church, people lose hope.

I'm sure every denomination and church has them but I've noticed that the CEA denomination has a lot of screwed up people. First let's go back to the 1960's when my dad attended a CEA church. He told me how all the women wore long white dresses. But he and my Mom, who dressed normal, waited until they were married to have sex. Meanwhile, all of the long white dress women were doing it with men in the CEA. The grandmother of the choir false prophet looked at my mother, who was at the alter (My mom was crying and speaking in tongues and had been saved since she was a young girl) and said, "Are you saved?" My Mom just kinda looked at her like "Yes. Duh!"

This woman wasn't super-spiritual. She was mad at my mother because my mother was prettier than her daughter. Her daughter had broke up with a guy and that guy was dating my mother. She gave my mom dirty looks in the restaurant because my mom was with her daughter's ex-boyfriend that her daughter broke up with.

Talk about nerve!

I guess fleshly church runs in the family. But the CEA-screwy people connection doesn't stop there. When I was in the fifth grade I attended a Brethren school. There was a girl in my class that was part of the CEA. When I didn't let her copy my homework, she squeezed my breasts! As a child, I just thought she was mean. But now as an adult I realized she was probably sexually molested and very screwed up. And as a former teacher, I can now look back and realize that my teacher wasn't doing a very good job. I would have noticed something like that going on in my classroom.

When I started attending the church where I was eventually blacklisted, this same girl was playing piano. I remember thinking, "Is she well enough adjusted to be playing piano in church?" But I didn't say anything. Come to find out, she ends up having an affair with a married man... the music minister! And then she had a child out of wedlock with another guy. The things that are allowed in the CEA! I know for a fact that there is a known child molester on the board of a CEA church. Indeed, it's not just the Catholic church who have to deal with these very same problems. I believe the CEA denomination has many people who were molested within the denomination and that is why they are so screwed up.

The mother of the man who kicked me out of the choir (Both CEA) and refused to let me back in told me a story of how her son didn't get to do something in kindergarten and because he was mad he told the teacher, " I didn't want to do it anyway!" His mother thought it was funny. These same CEA pastors snubbed an epileptic and a crippled couple because they could no longer tithe at their church (because they bought a home and were moving).

How cruel!

I remember thinking, "What a brat!" If Melody ever does something like that, I won't be laughing about it. She will have privelages taken away. Like I always say, "Anybody can reproduce, but it takes a lot of work to raise a kind, decent human being." When your child is a brat, you don't laugh it off. You discipline them.

There is only one thing worse then a child brat: an adult one. They cause a lot of damage to a lot of people. And thank God that there will be no prima donnas in heaven. I know a lot of married woman who told me they went home crying from this choir director and their un-saved husbands were going to beat him up. That may very well be the best thing that could ever happen to him.

The cousins of the CEA brother and sister who kicked me out of the choir and Sunday school class (who used to be in the CEA) were on staff at Ted Haggard's church in Colorado Springs (Paul and I visited New Life when we lived in Colorado). They knew he was doing drugs and men and they didn't say anything for three years. Only when it came out, did they say or do anything.

That is just plain wrong.

THEN New Life put these men in charge after Ted Haggard left. What's up with that? How can people who cover their leader's sins be trusted to lead people in righteousness? Totally wrong!

I am so glad Paul and I prefer to operate outside of denominations when at all possible. We don't even go to Brethren which is how Paul was raised (actually, Paul was brought up in the United Bretheren church). We've tried many different churches. Unfortunately, at this point, I've come to the decision that the best thing I can do for my daughter is to teach her the word of God and worship God with her. Church or no church.

Church can be a scary place. Especially for children.

Paul and I have a vision of something just a little different.

It would be a home for those who are tired of religion and the politics of church. A place for Word and Worship. We call it Launch Pad. It's not meant to necessarily replace church, but it is intended to be a place to worship without all of the dumb stuff that modern churches seem to have adopted... without that stuff that gets in the way. When space permits, the plan is to meet every 3rd Saturday of the month at 6 p.m at our home, probably in our garage. We will never take a salary and we will never allow anyone to be alone with your children. Paul and I were both raped in different ways (not sexually) by the church. We want a safe and secure place for us, our daughter, and you and your children.

Launch Pad: Worship without weird. Cool without sin.

E-mail me for more information:

Friday, September 14, 2007

Our Neighborhood The Beautiful

: sing to the tune of America The Beautiful :

Oh beautiful 2 a.m. parties
with beer and loud talking
The post-it notes
The rampant sex
And a home for border-hopping

I don't agree
But I deal with it
Because they should be free
So I will sing and worhsip God
Me and my family

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Lori: Mommy, Wife and Fan of Delicious Flavor

Well I'm flabbergasted.

It's one thing to write a wonderful article about Melody but I honestly had no idea that Lori was gonna write that article about me.

And the quotes at the end had me seriously cracking up. Which is why I put in my own inside joke in the title of this post (if you watch Psych on USA, you might get the reference).

Whether I'm a worthy Mr. Darcy or not is perhaps up for debate. I do appreciate, however, Lori's willingness to be a good sport. Until she met me, she probably had little exposure to Science Fiction or Fantasy. Now I make her watch it and even read it (especially when I write it). Lori's very supportive of my writing now that we've worked out my writing schedule and she even scours the local papers for opportunities to present my work. Indeed, the appearance at the Second Saturday Art Walk was her idea.

Lori is a gifted singer and piano player, an annointed worshipper, and I've never met anyone with a stronger yearning for the deeper things of God. She's extremely smart, almost to my own detriment sometimes. She's always got an opinion on any given subject, which makes her a great pre-reader of my work. She doesn't just tell me what I want to hear. I can't get away with lazy writing with her around. If there's a question, she's going to ask it and I'd better have a good reason for doing whatever it was I did. She's firey passionate about what she cares about and she has a refined sense of humor. At home, she's a responsible mother who cares as much, if not more, about Melody on the inside than she does about her outward appearance (despite the fact that both mommy and daughter are always stylish). Oh yeah, she's not bad to look at either. She has beautiful blue eyes (that we thought Melody had inherrited but now Melody's are going green) and a winning smile.

Did I mention the dangerous curves? Oh, behave!

Lori's my friend. We have slumber parties when Melody goes to sleep and we both crack up watching Red Eye on Fox News. She spends a lot of the week at home. So when the weekend comes, she's ready to escape. I, on the other hand, pretty much only spend the time I'm sleeping or writing at home. Nevertheless, we love to plan weekend outings, watch movies, go for walks, hit the road with the top down, etc. and she's always up for a trip to Disneyland.

Sometimes, if Lori's gone to sleep before me while I'm still up, I'll watch her sleep for just a little bit. When I think about everything that she's gone through with the church, waiting to get married, the rough pregnancy, moving to Colorado and back, her dad passing away shortly after mine did... I want to protect her. And after all, that's my job. Even though we're a team, in the end I've got two girls to protect.

All I can do is my best.

It's true, as Lori says, I sometimes write poetry. And I have, on more than one ocassion, penned something for Lori.

I Need A Hand
Paul M. Carhart

A lonely life I've led
Spare time to find so hard
At home, an empty bed
At work, a full dance card

My heart, a hollow shell
My mind, a frenzied cur
My soul, it tipped toward hell
Until I fell for her

Now I am a knight
A chivilrous sort of clown
No need for me to fight
I've put my weapons down

My intentions now are pure
My destiny is planned
My fallen state is cured
By the touch of Lori's hand

Thanks for taking care of me. Thanks for clearing the way so I can have a writing schedule. Thanks for raising our little girl. Thanks for loving me and for putting up with me.

- Paul

Thursday, September 06, 2007


Not too long ago Paul, Melody, and I were driving down PCH. I love PCH. I have been to New York and the Bahamas and have yet to find a drive like PCH. Even in Colorado Springs, with the beauty of the mountains, it didn't compare to the Southern California coast. Wish they all could be California roads.

As we were driving, I looked over at my husband. I looked back at my daughter. "Mommy, this is fun," she declared. A scripture came to mind. "I will renew your youth like the eagles." Paul's yellow convertible Mustang is a fun car. When I drive in it it makes up for all the times I didn't have a date in high school.

I thought of all the years in junior high and high school when I didn't have a boyfriend. How I had a college boyfriend and it just didn't seem right. And then was single for 33 years.

I know a lot of people who got married young and I am so much better off than them. Not only with my choice in mate, but with the career I had and the financial place we are in. Not that being a stay-at-home Mom is easy.

Paul and I often joke that even though we have been married for only 4 years that it seems like 25. We got pregnant two months after we were married. Melody and I were both in the hospital a month and we had massive medical bills (that we actually paid off!) Both of our Dads died within 3 months of each other. The night I found my Dad's body I was a mess and Paul just took over and called 911. I don't think I could have got through that night without Paul. We have moved five times. Not to mention that we are both first born children, strong-willed, both single a long time and set in our ways.

There were the flowers that Paul sent me when we were dating. There was the poetry he wrote me. The love and the romance. It was all special and wonderful.

But my most favorite memory of Paul is when he slow-danced with me in ICU. When he would go and hold Melody and sing to her when I was too weak to do so. When I was lying on the bed at our house in Colorado and he was dressing my un-healed incision. I thought he must really love me to do this. We went from having sex every night to Paul wiping up my vomit. Like I said that's true love.

Paul and I are emotional artists. We both have horrible tempers. But with God's help we are getting them under control. Anal people always want to say that artists are bipolar. Some are. But just because you are not stable and boring all the time doesn't mean you are bipolar. I love this quote: "The pitiful and the magnificent of the hypersensitive are the salt of the earth." That is Paul and Lori. We are either really happy or really sad. There is no in-between. Melody is the same but squared.

I love eating dinner with Paul. I love watching tv and movies with him. He is my best friend. He is my lover. He is the father of our child. I love when we pray together and worship God together. I love listening to 80's music with Paul. Paul introduced me to Delirious? and Superchic[k]. Two of my favorite bands. Melody loves them too. He even goes and see artsy movies with me which most guys would never do. He doesn't watch Monday night football or play golf. That's what I'm talkin about.

With everyone out there bragging about how many people they have been with, I have to tell you this. I am glad Paul and I waited. He was worth the wait. He is a good lover. He rubs my feet.

Sometimes when you wait, you might think you missed out. But God has been bringing people across my path to show me that I haven't missed out. In fact, I am actually better off than the girls and boys who sleep around.

If you are reading this and are alone, know that God has someone for you. God does not want us to be alone.

God gave me my English gentleman. He is my Mr. Darcy. He opens doors for me and he walks on the outside of me. Just like I used to see my Dad do for my Mom. I love when Paul holds my hand and hugs me. I love his kisses. I still remember the LAX kiss. I love you Paul Michael Carhart!!!

Oh behave!!!!

My God, you're a firecracker!!

Are you a fan of delicious flavor?!!


I remember the first time I felt life inside of me. What a unique feeling!

I remember thinking of all the women at church who mocked me for wanting to be a mother. I remember coming to a low place in my life when I accepted that I might never have children and never get married. The thought of that made me not want to go on.

But how God steps in when everyone else says it will never happen!

I remember the fear that gripped me when the doctor said they were going to take Melody out at 7 months. I didn't get to deliver naturally, which is what I always wanted. I also didn't get to breast feed, which is another thing I aways wanted to do. But I was so happy that she and I were both alive.

I remember going into surgery and asking God to keep his Holy Spirit on Melody. I remember lying on the operating table as they were putting me back together. The nurses were weighing Melody. One of them said, "Look how cute she is. Look at how peaceful she looks." When I heard that, I knew God had kept his Holy Spirit on her. I cried. I thanked God.

As she progressed well in the NICU, I ended up in the ICU. I remember death coming at me. The nurses said I was halicinating but I wasn't. I knew exactly what I was doing. I was yelling out the name of Jesus and speaking in tongues. I had too much will to live. I had a new husband and a new baby and I wasn't about to let the enemy take my life. The devil is a liar.

Once Melody and I got home, she had to be on oxygen and zantax (sp?). Her first year in Colorado was a cold one. She was sick almost once a month. It was a rough year. But God protected her.

I remember the first time she smiled. The first time she crawled. The first time she walked. Her first word, "Da-Da"

Women do all the work. Men get all the glory!!!

I love to watch Melody dance. I love to watch her sing and play piano. She loves to learn. She loves learning her numbers and letters. She loves to read the Bible with Mommy and to worhsip God. She is a beautiful girl on the outside. I am still working with her on how to be beautiful on the inside. I love Melody's hugs. I love Melody's "Kisses on the cheeks."

Sometimes when Melody and I are alone she says to me, "Mommy, tell me the doctor story." And I tell her how she was born... How God kept his hand on her. I tell her how Mommy and Daddy didn't ever think they would have children. How blessed we are to have her.

Whatever you desire today, don't let anyone tell you it won't happen.

It will.

Maybe you want a baby.

Maybe you have another dream.

Whatever it is, God is no respector of persons.

Don't let embittered people bring you down.

I almost did. But God stepped in.

Whatever dreams you have, God will bring them to pass. You may not have yours as soon as someone else but, in the long run, you'll be better off. Good things come to those who wait. Blessings come to those who may suffer for a season but are blessed for a lifetime.

Don't settle! Wait for what God has for you. It is worth the wait.

Mommy loves you, Melody Hannah!!!