Friday, July 06, 2007
I have always loved and respected my father. But now, after a year and a half of his passing, I have more and more respect for him everyday.
I respect him as a husband who loved my mother.
I respect him as a Father, not only for loving me but for disciplining me even when many are creating laws against spanking.
I respect him as a businessman who worked hard all of his life.
I respect him as a Creationist who loved science and astronomy, not just with his intellect but with Biblical knowledge.
I respect him as a grandfather who gave Melody a love to read the Bible and to know that "Ga-Ga showed me the moon!"
I respect him for providing for my Mother, even in death, so she doesn't have to work and is debt free.
I respect him as a Veteran who served in the Navy for four years.
But the thing I respect most about my Father is that he was a Christian man.
I know Pastors with mega churches who take drugs and cheat on their wives. I know Pastors who are in all kinds of perversions and who are pedophiles. These human beings are church people. Church men and church women. They play church, participate in the programs, etc.
My Daddy was a Christian. He read God's word. He worshiped God in spirit and in truth. Not for the woos or applause or for a paycheck. He did it because he loved God.
I have had people in my life who had a father… someone to take care of them. But they didn't have a "daddy" and that is so sad because those people miss out on the strong bond and relationship that is possible. Many people have fathers and are way to critical of them. No father is perfect. He did the best he could. Be thankful you have one. I know many of my first grade students who would have died to have a Father. If you have one, stop being critical. Be thankful. And if you don't have one, then know that God is a father to the fatherless. God can never take you to a baseball game but he can carry you through difficult times.
Having a daddy makes you a strong person. I remember one time in my life when a man suggested I needed counseling. This man had no relationship with his father and was extremely jealous of mine. He used the words "lick it!" during a sound check in church. Obviously he had many stronger issues than I have ever had to deal with. Many times people who are way more screwed up than you like to say you need help when, in actuality, they wouldn't be strong enough to walk a day in your shoes. I had another man and woman make fun of my daddy and me and that was because they both had a horrible father relationships and were jealous of the one I had.
Most women I have known in my life who would fit into the "witch" category have major father issues. Women who have to gossip or stab other women in the back either don't have a father or they have one but not a daddy.
It is my firm belief after dealing with church women that they wouldn't need to gossip if they had a good relationship with their father. When your father tells you you’re smart, pretty, funny, etc., you have confidence. Then, when you marry, you marry a man who appreciates the qualities you have. You don't have a need to put other women down when you have a daddy.
There are four vicious women I have known. They are church ladies. They go to church every Sunday but tear down the reputations of others to promote themselves. All four of these women do not have good relationships with their fathers.
When a women has a daddy, she has the confidence to know that she is pretty, smart, funny, talented, etc. because her Daddy instilled that in her. Thank you, Daddy.
Just like as Christians, when we read the word and worship God, we can have confidence in who we are in Christ. A Christian man or woman has confidence based on God's word, not by gossiping and putting others down. That is something church men and church women have to rely on because they haven't got past church.
Daddy, I know you are up in heaven worshiping God. Someday we will all be up there with you. What a day that will be. Thank you, Daddy for being a Christian not a church man.
When I was attending a local church, a man who was on his second marriage told me to be "Married to Jesus." A women who was married with children and had a gray beard and hair told me "It's not God's will for you to be married". This women with a gray beard came on to me sexually during a church service. The pastor’s wife told me, "You need to come to a point where you can serve God even if you never get married." She was, of course, married with children. She cracked her knuckles, and wore her hair like a man. Then there was the woman who told me, "Well, I didn't get married until I was 30!" And she was rather a plain Jane. Another woman told me, "Well Lori, you are like Jesus. You won't get married until your 33." Of course, that sounded weird. I guess she didn't read the Bible enough to know that Jesus never got married. The final straw was when the biggest church gossip told me a story about her granddaugther's 1st grade teacher who was "Tall and was never going to get married." She was slamming me because I was a first grade teacher, was tall and at that point was still single. By the way being the height of a super model is sexy!! (Or so my husband tells me!)
I went to my dad and told him all this and do you know what he said?
"You can't hold hands with Jesus. You can't have sex and babies with Jesus. Jesus can be a spiritual husband but he can never be a physical one."
A daddy is sooo practical and not weird.
Three months later Daddy Hedgpeth hooked me up with one of the best men I have ever met, my husband Paul Carhart.
Is Paul Carhart perfect?
No. No human being is. But I tell you this: He is faithful to Melody and me. And I know if 300 people in a church were becoming pedophiles to please the pastor my husband would have the balls to not participate.
And so would my daddy.
Thanks Daddy. I love you!
Posted by Lori Carhart at Friday, July 06, 2007