Friday, September 09, 2005

Brain Drain

It's about 5:30 in the morning. I've been up since 2:30.

My head is swimming with so many things to do.

I put in my two week notice today at work. Okay. It was technically yesterday.

We're going to California in roughly three weeks. This time, we're not coming back to Colorado. In many ways, it's sad. But in other ways... well, we're coming home.

But it's a big undertaking. A grand adventure. Quitting a job. Selling a house. Moving across country. Staying with family. Aquiring new jobs. Getting a new home. Any of those things alone would be enough weight on the shoulders. We're doing all of it at once, barely a month after losing my dad.

To say I'm feeling stressed would be an understatement.

After all, I'm the husband. I'm the dad. It's all my responsibility.

So, while I was tired enough to go to sleep at 10:30 last night (after reading a chapter of pure escapism in my Star Wars novel), it was my turn to feed Melody if she needed it (Lori's teaching tomorrow, okay today).

Melody got up at 2:30.

When I laid back down after feeding and changing her, I couldn't stop thinking about what all needs to be done. Schedule the truck. Airline tickets for the in-laws (so they can help with the move). Packing everything (and therefore aquiring the needed boxes). Securing a car trailer for the Mustang. The list goes on.

So I tried to shift mental gears. Suddenly I'm thinking about work. What I need to do for the Westone website so there'll be a smooth transition. Who will I turn it over to and the politics that come with that. What about all the advertising for the music products division? Someone's got to pick that up. And I need to pass that contact info on to all of the magazines. I have my ideas about the best course of action but, after all, I'm not going to be there anymore so who cares what I think. I pick up so many pieces on a daily basis that no one even knows about. The fact is though that I need to start showing somebody all of the stuff I do every day so things won't fall through the cracks. After all, not every art director has another art director on staff to sweat the details. Some people are going to have to step up and start looking at the details. Or else they'll find themselves in over their head even more than they are now.

But what do I care? September 21 is my last day. It's not my problem after that.

And yet I do care.

Which is why I'm not asleep.

After stressing over both my personal and professional life for an hour in bed with my eyes wide open, I decided to get my mind off of it. I had a few episodes of the new Battlestar Galactica that I hadn't seen yet so I took them downstairs and watched two of them.

Just when I thought I was tired enough to hit the hay again, Melody started crying. So I had to coddle her back to sleep before I could lay back down.

By that point, my mind was back on everything that's going on... or needs to go on.

So now I'm up writing this. After all, this blog is more therapy than anything else. I should probably be working on my novel though.

In a half hour, Lori will be up... getting ready for work.

I hope she slept well.

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